Insert Dramatic Title Here
by Banzai4eva
Summary: BanzaiPro is faced with a terrifying threat that may destroy the universe as we know it!  But are they up for the challenge?  Tehehe summary fails! :D
1. Chapter 1

The date was February 14, 2011. Oz stared blankly out the living room window watching raindrops chase each other across the glass. The pathetic fallacy was a bit much. Another lonely valentines day had come again. Well, perhaps it wasn't _too_ lonely…

"Hello?" a voice inquired from behind the front door.

Oz jumped up to go see who could be visiting. Surely everyone else had places to be on such an important day? She was pleasantly surprised to find the ecstatic faces of Super Weasel Princess and Valda Abyss grinning back at her.

"HEEEYYYYY! I'M COMING IN WOMAN!" SWP yelled as she charged inside with her pet penguin, Ralph.

Oz shook her head and sighed at her rather energetic friend. "Hi," she said turning towards Valda.

"Hey," she smiled, pulling Oz into a tight embrace. "Happy Valentines Day."

A smile grew on Oz's face as she buried her head in Valda's golden blonde hair. "Happy Valentines Day, I missed you."

Inside the kitchen, SWP had already begun to raid the fridge. "Don't you have any tomatoes in this place? Oooh look! COOKIES!" Once SWP had grabbed a whole box of cherry tomatoes, a bag of cookies, and some leftover pizza, the three of them settled on the couch to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas (obviously the best romantic movie to enjoy on February 14th). Oz and Valda slowly inched closer together while SWP fed pieces of M&M cookies to Ralph.

Suddenly, Cheshire-K rushed inside, her figure soaked and shaking, her eyes wide and full of shock. She turned towards her friends with an extremely pained expression and then collapsed on the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

A field of suspense hovered in the silence. Cheshire-K had not moved from her stiffened state on the floor. Ralph slowly waddled towards her and pecked her gently on the head. Twenty five minutes later the movie ended and the three girls on the couch turned towards Cheshire-K and screamed in heart wrenching anguish. SWP dashed over to her friend and tried desperately to awaken her. Cheshire-K's eyes fluttered open.

"Ugh where…FRIENDS WE MUST HIDE WE ARE IN TERRIBLE DANGER!" she screamed clawing at SWP's jacket.

"Shh calm down whatever it was you're safe now," SWP cradled Cheshire-K in her arms, rocking her back and forth. Cheshire-K nudged her head into the crook of SWP's neck. SWP smoothed her hair back.

"I-I-I thought I saw…it was terrible! It was-"

"Shh-don't speak we can call an ambulance everything's alright now. I'm here."

"NO! You don't understand! I saw Thomas!"

"Thomas the banana?" she gasped.

"No, Thomas from down the street."

"Oh um…I don't," At that moment Ralph cut in and reclaimed SWP as his own.

"His eyes, they were placid and non-responsive, like he was under some enchantment."

At this point Oz jumped in, "Hmm, an enchantment you say? Interesting…" Oz grabbed her computer and then locked herself in the study; apparently she had some investigating to do.

"Well it appears things are starting to get rather interesting," Valda spoke up, her beautiful face silhouetted by the streaming sunset.

**Thanks for reading guys! My sister helped me write this chapter She is also a Banzai fan!**


	3. Chapter 3

Oz burst into the living room where her friends were pacing back and forth. "I think I found something!" she declared. Her friends huddled around her. "Recently, there have been an oddly large number of sightings of people with milky, pale eyes and blank expressions. It says they almost seemed like they were under a spell!"

"That sounds like what I saw!" exclaimed Cheshire-K. Before she could say anything more, a loud crash reverberated off of the walls. People with cloudy, blank eyes crowded into the tiny living room.

"What's going on?" yelled Valda. Oz stepped in front of her with a protective stance.

"Why are you here?" yelled Cheshire-K.

"I. Am. A. Chocolate chip." one of them droned.

"I. Am. A. Fig." another one chanted. At once, a chorus of monotone voices started murmuring what kinds of food they all thought they were. The enchanted zombie-like humans started drawing a tight circle around the four girls and moved slowly in towards them.

Oz grabbed the table lamp standing next to her and smashed it into several of the zombie-people, rupturing the human circle. "Run!" she screamed, grabbing Valda's wrist as she lead her friends' way to safety. Once outside, everyone ran in different directions.

SWP ran until she was completely out of energy. The zombie-people were getting closer and she was running out of options.

"Hiding from someone, babe?" a sexy Australian voice asked from behind her, his head hanging out of his shiny red lamborghini. He had a lovely face to match that sexy accent of his. His dark black hair was spiked in a random, crazy pattern on his head and his eyes were a dark grey that for some reason reminded her of a wolf. There was something dangerous about him and yet, rather appealing.

"I-" she looked behind her, they were still advancing.

"Haha what's the problem babydoll? Too many adoring fans?" he craned his neck to get a better view of who was chasing her.

"I have to go!" she wheezed trying desperately to get one more breath before running again.

"Where are you going babe? Hop in I can give you a ride," he winked. She looked behind her, eh she might as well, after all, he had a nice car and sexy accent, right? "So, where to?"

"Anywhere just drive! Like now would be good!" she panicked. He complied, speeding away from the zombies.

"So...what's your name anyways? Or should I just call you babydoll?"

"Um it's Super Weasel Princess."

"Huh, really? That's..." oh dear God please don't let him say weird, "cute," he flashed a captivating grin.

"Thanks," she let her hair fall slightly in front of her face to hide the blush that was quickly creeping on to her cheeks. "So uh, what about you? Don't you have a name?"

"Call me Russ," he flashed that devilish smile of his again. "So Princess, what say you and I go get better acquainted over some pizza?"


	4. Chapter 4

Oz and Valda found a hidden corner and collapsed. They figured they had run long enough to lose the food freaks. SWP and Cheshire-K were nowhere in sight but at that moment; Valda and Oz were too exhausted and frightened to pay any attention to them.

"Are we safe?" Valda panted.

"I don't know," Oz replied, that's when Valda broke down sobbing uncontrollably. Oz patted her friends back and pulled her in close to her side. Neither of them spoke for a long time, the only sound was that of Valda's quiet sobs.

Valda's sobbing reduced to sniffles, "S-sorry."

"It's okay," Oz said, wiping away Valda's tears with her fingers. She let her hands move slowly downwards and grabbed a strand of Valda's hair, twirling it in her hands. Valda became very quiet all of a sudden as the two of them locked eyes. Neither one moved, they just sat there for a very long time gazing into each other's eyes. Oz felt the strangest urge to lean closer in to Valda and kiss her. Why did she want to kiss Valda? She was straight...she didn't fall for girls much less her friends! Valda was her friend and she couldn't possibly damage their relationships but...all she knew was that at that very moment she _wanted_ to kiss Valda more than anything she had ever wanted before. Oz cupped Valda's cheek in her palm, Valda made a strange confused squeak before leaning into Oz's palm.

"Uh...guys? I hate to cut in but-" Cheshire-K interrupted as she crawled into their corner with them.

"Oh uh no! You weren't interrupting anything!" Oz stumbled over her words.

"Yeah um we were just uh...w-we were practicing..." Valda tried desperately to come up with some logical reason for their actions.

"We were practicing for a um...video...yeah..."

"Uh-huh," Cheshire-K nodded, clearly not convinced. "Has any one seen SWP?"

"Oh we thought she was with you?"

"I thought she was with you..."

"Uh oh, we better check and make sure she's okay. Valda, you and Cheshire-K go look for her."

"And what are you going to do?" Valda asked.

"I'm going to the library, something very strange is going on here and I intend on getting to the bottom of it as soon as possible!"


	5. Chapter 5

The music pounded in SWP's ears. She looked desperately around the room in search of Russ. The lights in the club blinded her and she felt dizzy and claustrophobic. Where on earth had Russ run off to? He had just disappeared at some point and now she was shoving through the dancing couples in search of a familiar face.

"Lose something sweetheart?" a gruff voice asked from behind her.

"Oh, Russ I thought you left me...where did you go?"

"Ah it's nothing babe I just had some stuff to take care of," he winked. "Let's dance."

"Oh um I don't really-" at that point Russ grabbed her hands and started spinning her into a romantic waltz. He gently pressed his lips against her forehead as she melted in his arms. Behind her she heard a faint voice saying that they were a cucumber...perhaps she was beginning to imagine things, but it never hurt to be too cautious.

SWP turned back towards Russ and asked, "hey maybe we could get out of here?"

"Aw but Princess we were just starting to have fun," he smiled.

"I know I'm sorry I just feel like I'm being watched...does that sound crazy?"

"Haha well you were just chased by crazy fans earlier today so who am I to judge?"

"Thanks it means a lot," she smiled. Just as they were about to make their way out of the club, a swarm of people came between them and began to drag Russ away from her.

"Hey get off of me! Princess? What the hell is going on?" he screamed, trying to throw the crazies off of him with no luck.

"I don't know! Leave him alone! I know you came for me so just leave him alone!" SWP yelled as she pushed through the bodies surrounding her. One of the crazies surrounding her stepped forward.

"I. Am. A. Hamburger."

"No... Who are you? What do you want?"

"Princess!" Russ yelled, they had almost dragged him outside where a shady-looking black van was waiting. "RUN!"

"I'll find you!" she screamed before kicking a crazy in the face that then tumbled into the crazies behind him and created a gap just large enough for SWP to shove her way outside and continued running for her life.


	6. Chapter 6

Cheshire-K glanced at her reflection in a shop window. Was her appearance this disheveled a few hours ago? Then again, she hadn't predicted on being chased out of her house by zombies...yeah that was a bit of a shock. If only she could find SWP perhaps they could focus on getting to the bottom of these bizzarre encounters. But what if SWP had been attacked by the food zombies again? Would she be able to fight them off all by herself this time? And if not, what had happened to her? Just as Cheshire-K started to panic about the many terrible scenarios in which SWP played the tragic heroine, a shiny red car pulled up next to her. The window on the passengers side rolled down and a woman in stylish black frames turned towards her.

"Get in! Quickly, I don't know if they're close!" the woman in the drivers seat shouted.

"S-super Weasel Princess?"

"Yes it's me, now come on let's go!" her friend slid her shades down her nose to shoot a rather saucy look at Cheshire-K. Without a moment's hesitation Cheshire-K hopped into the passenger's seat as SWP swerved back into the road.

"So um...where did you get the car?"

"A friend," SWP stated in a monotonous voice before violently slamming her foot down on the accelerator and speeding up for no apparent reason.

"Well that's some friend, anyone I know?"

"No."

"So uh, I ran into Valda and Oz, Valda and I split up to look for you and Oz said she was going to the library to research the attacks."

"Valda's by herself? We should go look for her! Those things are getting stronger I swear!"

"What? Did you run into them again?"

"Yeah..." SWP became very silent and stared unblinking at the road.

"So let's check the mall? If I were her that would be the first place I would look."

"Sounds good to me." Once they reached the nearest mall they started running like madwomen all over the place, but Valda was nowhere to be found. Down in the food court below them some sort of commotion seemed to be going on. A group of loopy-looking people had cornered a young couple and were pointing at a picture.

"Hey isn't that us?" Cheshire-K tugged on SWP's sleeve.

"Huh? Where?"

"Come with me!" Cheshire-K grabbed SWP's wrist and without another word dashed over to the nearest department store. She looked around frantically before pulling them both into a changing room.

"Cheshire what is going-"

"Shhhhh!"

"Okay sorry, what's going on? What do you mean you saw us? How could you see us?" SWP whispered.

"Those people in the food court, they were pointing at a picture of us! I'm sure they must be the food zombies looking for us again!"

"But how did they get a picture of us?"

"I don't know but this means that they know exactly what we look like...I guess there's no hiding from them now."

"Well then what-"

"Shh!" Cheshire-K pressed a finger to her lips. Outside voices could be heard declaring that they were various types of food. Luckily, the retail lady they had cornered told them that she vaguely remembered seeing the two girls in the picture run off into a different section of the store. "I think it's safe," Cheshire-K whispered as she poked her head out of the changing room. The two of them bought hats and a pair of sunglasses in a desperate attempt to disguise themselves. After a final, brief sweep of the mall, SWP and Cheshire-K got back in the car and were about to head out to a new location.

"Do you hear that?" SWP asked.

"Yeah that ringing noise?"

"Wait I think its coming from under the seat," SWP felt blindly for the source of the noise. "Did you bring your phone?"

"Nope, I left mine at the house. You?"

"Same...where is it...oh I found something!" she brought out a modern and expensive looking phone, covered in a blood red case. This had to be Russ' phone, but whomever was calling him was not someone from his contacts.

"Who's is it?"

"M-my friend's..."

"You should answer it!"

"I-yeah I guess I should. Hello?" she picked up the phone and was surprisingly shocked to hear Valda's voice on the other end of it.

"Oh thank God you finally picked up! I'm at the cafe near your house can you come get me? I don't think it's too safe outside for us yet."

"Us? Who are you with? And how did you get this number?" on the other line SWP could her Valda speaking to someone in hushed tones before passing to phone over to them.

"Princess?" an all too familiar voice asked on the other line. It was _him. _He was okay.

"SWP? Who is it?" Cheshire-K asked from the seat next to her but all SWP could manage was a squeal of joy.


	7. Chapter 7

Cheshire-k and SWP drove to the coffee shop and met up with Valda and Russ. SWP informed Cheshire-K that Russ was her friend that she borrowed the car from and that the zombies had abducted him. When they arrived at the shop, SWP ran over to her new friend and hugged him very tightly for a long time, refusing to let go.

"I'm so glad you're safe! But how did you escape?" SWP asked.

"To be quite honest I have no idea. Last thing I remember they were pulling me into that van and then I woke up at your house and Valda found me."

"You were at my house? But how could you know where it was?"

"I don't know maybe they left me there..."

"Left you? I thought you escaped why would they leave you?"

"She's right it doesn't make sense," Cheshire-k spoke up. She hadn't even been properly introduced to Russ yet but she already knew that she hated him. Something about him just seemed to rub her the wrong way and she would make it her business to keep him as far away from SWP as possible. Cheshire-K glared darkly at Russ.

"Look I don't know okay? I told you I just blacked out and ended up there!" he snapped at Cheshire-K who continued to give him an evil look.

"It's fine we know, we won't ask anymore questions, kay?" SWP said as she embraced Russ once again.

"Alright guys we had better get a move on, who knows how long it will take the food zombies to track us down? And we should look for Oz, I'm sure she must have found something at the library by now," Valda spoke up.

"I agree, those zombie things seem to always know where to find us, it's strange I wonder how they do that..." Cheshire-K mused as she glared at Russ once again. Why did she hate him? She hardly even knew him but there was something about him that just wasn't right. Perhaps it was his obnoxiously charming attitude, or how he just so mysteriously was able to escape from the food zombies and end up at SWP's house, or maybe it was his eyes that just seemed off somehow...But in all honesty it was most likely that SWP seemed to actually like him as in more than just a friend and that just didn't sit well with Cheshire-K.


	8. Chapter 8

Russ and the girls left the coffee shop and rushed over to the library to find Oz. They figured that from here on they should stick together, incase the food zombies decided to attack again. At the library they found Oz huddled in a quiet corner with her hood up and a manga volume covering her face.

"Oz!" Valda shouted as she ran to embrace her friend.

"Hey guys, I have some bad news, um who is this?" she directed her attention towards Russ.

"Oh this is Russ, he's a friend," SWP smiled as she reached for his hand.

"I see..." Oz looked questioningly at their intertwined hands. Yep, just friends, sure. Behind SWP, a very angry looking Cheshire-K was glaring at Russ as though she was about ready to murder him, interesting...

"So uh, what did you find?" Valda asked.

"Nothing really, that's what's so weird about it. I found one article about a recent "fad" they called it where people would pretend to be their favorite foods but there was nothing about any attacks at all, and one would think that if people were being attacked as frequently and violently as we are, someone would be talking about it."

"So then why are we the ones being targeted?"

"I don't know...I honestly can't imagine why anyone would target us, I mean seriously we are cosplayers we aren't even a threat..."

"Perhaps they're angry fans," Russ giggled.

"Ooh he's Australian," Oz whispered.

"Um, this isn't a joke! We have been running from crazy people trying to kill us all day! Is that funny to you?" Cheshire-K snapped at SWP's new Australian suitor.

"Cheshire! How can you say that? He was just trying to lighten the mood!" SWP spoke up.

"No it's okay Princess, you all have had a difficult day," Russ patted SWP gently on the shoulder.

"Well so have you!" SWP and Russ went off in a corner to talk/cuddle. The very thought made Cheshire-K want to gag. SWP looked at him with such longing in her eyes...would she ever look at Cheshire-K that way? Probably not, those dreams only came true in fairy tales. On the bright side, they were best friends and perhaps just being close to her was better than nothing, it was pointless to ruin their relationship over unrealistic hopes.

Cheshire-K glanced outside, it was quickly getting dark, they should probably go home before it was too late, who knew how vulnerable they would be then. All of a sudden the lights started flickering.

"What's going on?" Valda asked.

"I don't know I'll go ask a librarian," Oz replied and ran off in search of help.

"So how are you holding up?" Valda asked as she huddled near Cheshire-K.

"Huh? Oh you mean by being chased? I'm fine."

"No, I meant how are you holding up with SWP being so...lovey-dovey."

"Oh, that...I don't mind. Why should I? It's none of my business."

"Oh, I thought that maybe you two..."

"There's nothing between us."

"Um...okay..."

"Hey guys I checked and there is no one else on this floor," Oz panted, clearly out of breath from running around.

"Did you check any other floors?" Valda asked in a panicked tone.

"No, but I looked over the balcony and there was no one at the front desk either," at that moment, Russ doubled over coughing uncontrollably.

"RUSS! WHAT'S WRONG? OH MY GOD WE HAVE TO HELP HIM! HELP!" SWP started screaming when the lights stopped flickering and went off. Valda started screaming but Russ' coughing had stopped.

"I-I'm," he muttered.

"Russ? Ow what are you doing? Get off that hurts!"

"SWP?" Cheshire-K called out in the darkness.

"Cheshire! I don't-hey! Russ stop this isn't funny!" in the darkness, the girls could hear some sort of a struggle happening as a lamp was knocked over and shattered on the ground.

"SWP! GET OFF OF HER!" Cheshire-K pawed violently at who she thought was Russ but stopped when she hear SWP start to whimper. The lights flickered back on. Russ was standing in front of the elevator with one arm around SWP's neck; the other arm was pressing a shard of broken glass from the smashed lamp against her throat. Cheshire-K roared in anger and tried to run to her friend but Valda's hands held her back.

"Stop Cheshire! He might hurt her if we do something!" Valda pleaded with her friend. That seemed to calm her down a bit.

"Why are you doing this?" SWP asked, her voice barely even a whisper.

"Banana…" was his only reply.

"Did he just say Banana?" Oz asked.

"It told me…the banana…told me…"

"Oh this is ridiculous! We have to help her!" Cheshire-K yelled, a bright red drop of blood trickled down SWP's neck where the shard of glass was pressing its way deeper into her skin. The elevator reached the top floor of the library and the doors opened behind them with a loud ding.

"I'm…I'm…an…ice cream…cone," Russ muttered, his eyes were cloudy and his expression seemed confused as he backed into the elevator, dragging SWP along with him. SWP looked back at her friends with wide, frightened eyes and gave out a small shriek in pain as the glass shard moved painfully into her wound.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Cheshire-K screamed running after the elevator, but it was too late they were gone. She pounded her fists against the elevator doors until her knuckles bled. Oz and Valda just stood there with no idea what just happened or what would be the best course of action. Cheshire-K looked up at her reflection in the elevator doors and took a deep breath before running over to the stairs.

"Where are you going?" asked Valda

"To kill that bastard," she replied as she jumped over the side of the railing and sprinted towards her friend.


	9. Chapter 9

The girls chased after the newly zombified Russ. There was hatred burning in Cheshire-K's eyes and a sense of protectiveness for her captured friend. They finally caught up with Russ who had stopped suspiciously in a small clearing with SWP's limp body in his arms.

"SWP!" screamed Cheshire-K. It looked as though Russ was about to finish off his newest victim when a voice came from the heavens telling him to stop. The voice sounded shockingly familiar…Russ threw SWP on the ground and Cheshire-K rushed to her side.

"Are you okay?" Cheshire-K panicked.

"I'm fine now that you're here," SWP smiled.

"Who's there?" Oz inquired of the suspicious voice. Around the corner of a building a dark figure creeped towards them before stepping into the light.

"Why hello Oz, we meet again," the figure smiled creepily.

"B-but you're-"

"Thomas the banana!" Valda gasped.

"W-why are you here?" Oz asked.

"Hehehehe, well you see Banzai Pro, I had this wonderfully evil plot to take over the world by fooling humans into believing that they were food! After all, who would suspect a giant banana? NO ONE THAT'S WHO!" Thomas laughed maniacally.

"But why would that have anything to do with us?" Oz shouted.

"You were the only ones who ever saw me for what I truly am, AN EVIL TALKING BANANA! Well, I couldn't just let you wandering around to warn people of my evil ways, so I devised a plan to rid the world of your knowledge! I even created a drone to capture the heart of your beloved SWP and lure you all here!"

"What? You mean…he isn't real…" SWP looked heartbroken.

"Of course not you silly little fool! And now my plan will finally be complete when I turn you all into bananas!"

"Nooooooo!" Oz shouted. Valda wimpered, and buried her head in Oz's soulder, Oz wrapped her arms protectively around Valda as they braced themselves for the end. Unexpectedly, Thomas the banana exploded into a mushroom cloud of cats.

"Ooooohkaaay…what um, what just happened?" Cheshire-K asked. The girls just shook their heads and decided to head back home, they needed a good rest and Ralph was probably lonely.

When they got home, Ralph was sitting on the couch watching Finding Sauske and digging into a box of SassaQuake Oats .

"Hey that's my cereal!" Cheshire-K ran over to Ralph and snatched up the cereal box. "Huh, there looks like there's something inside."

"What, like a cereal prize?" Valda asked.

"Do those things still exist?" SWP asked, Cheshire-K took out the suspicious object, it was a note! It read:

Happy April Foolz! We luv yooo gaiz!

Yours truly,

SassaFrass XD

P.S. SWP would like to add that he had nothing to do with this! :3


End file.
